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    June 09

    郁闷到了....

    经常心里有话却不知道该从何说起
    一个善良的人
    几个知心的朋友
    一份只容的下自己的工作
    一个可以依靠的他
    这就是我所追求的
    多想把所有一切不相干的人都跟自己隔离开啊
    不必一天想考研的事情
    不必去忧虑自己被隔离在社团之外了
    抱着兴趣去读爱读的书
    却不必再为了考试去用功或者放弃或者受惩罚
    更不必看老师的那副臭嘴脸
     
    人都是这个样子的吗?
    总是按照自己的标准去要求别人
    甚至自己可以跟别人遵循两个不同的标准
    自己难过跟焦虑的时候
    可以牺牲他人的愉快和轻松
    只因为有权利
    当你在自尊于自己的地位时
    有没有一点点不安?
    是你的行为使你该得那份尊敬
    还是只是团体文化社会压力促使人们不得不尊敬你
     
    真得是太可怜得一类人了
    在自己得不到想得到得他人得赞许得时候
    便拿起了权利的武器
    让每个人不得不笑对自己
    不过终归逃不掉那份焦虑
    不然也不用一天天的变本加厉毫无节制的去摧毁他人的平静了
    而我多么不幸与荣幸
    竟然做了一次牺牲品
    真是越来越糊涂啦
     
    一边写一边听到上帝在冷笑
    你唯一可以做的
    就是跟所有人一样
    变成行尸走肉而已
     
    好吧
    在还没有变成行尸走肉之前
    我不得不抓紧时间写下这些
    也许偶尔某天可以唤起我最原始的良知也不一定
    暂且相信它有存在的价值吧
     
     

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